Well, I competed at my last (ever) indoor track and field national championships this weekend in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Story Wrap: Didn't go as planned. I came in ranked fourth in the nation and I finished tenth with a horrible jump of 1.65 meters. I just cleared 1.81 meters two weeks ago. I think I really let other "outside matters" get into my head and I am very upset with myself over this. I have been an athlete for long enough to know how to get my head together. I truly am mad at myself and it feels like a bad nightmare.
Of course, eventually I realized you cannot win them all. We all, sometime in our lives, face major adversity. I think this season and also outdoor season last year have been the most adversity I have ever faced. I love jumping with all my heart, it's my only love. However, it can really frustrate me sometimes. I have to take a step back and remember the sport may make us great but it doesn't define us. All athletes that are reading this can resonate with my feelings of failure after competition but I also know with failure there is a comeback.
My goal for outdoor is to jump 1.85 (6 foot) and qualify for nationals in more than one event. Fingers crossed javelin and high jump! I want to keep competing after college but I need to focus on my last season ever as a NCAA college athlete first.
Although clouds may feel like they are hovering around me I know I will be okay. It's all in God's plan.
