As I am going through a season of what feels like extreme dryness in my life I have been finding pick me ups in random works of literature. The current book I am reading is called Simply Tuesday by Emily Freeman. It's a book that is encouraging people to live in the "small" moments of life or as the author refers to it as.. ordinary time. I know what you're thinking, what? LACE! C'mon we all know you're not a "small" moment person. Right? It seems silly to be reading about living in the small moments when I am currently searching and exploring my next big move in life. Am I going to go back to school? Get a new career? Get married? Why would I focus on the small things in life if I am trying to do BIG things. I thought this same way after reading a couple chapters but then I had a very big epiphany... maybe the reason why I'm so physically worn down, emotionally drained and socially exhausted is because I am just living the on the go. I'm always doing something. Literally ALWAYS. I honestly will sit down after a long day working my current three different jobs and take one deep breath then get up and clean out my closet or clean the bathroom. That is so crazy. It's like I don't want my mind to be at ease because that's when I start to feel insufficient or lazy.
God calls us to action for His kingdom, however I'm starting to realize that doesn't always mean being busy. I also believe that God intended we enjoy the time he gives us on earth. He wants us to learn and grow but he also wants us to see our "smallness" in the world.
As Mrs. Freeman says in the book he wants us to understand that we can plant all we want but it is His job to let us grow. The right doors will open when they are supposed too. All we can do is take the action steps and put the outcomes in the hands of God.
After being rejected by 5 different job positions I applied to this summer I am at the point where I feel like God is telling me no to everything. I'll admit it I'm not the most patient person. My parents and friends can vouch for that. I am learning how to trust Him with everything throughout this tough season. Deep down I do believe he has something better for me.
I want to aim to embrace my smallness and trust in "thy will be done". I want to be present in the kingdom of God in this waiting process and I don't want to only look for the future to find meaning in my life.
